People ask me how the family is doing. The trips are fourteen. Mahddy just broke his foot making the wrestling team. Other than that not too surprising mishap (he's always been the dare devil) everyone is good. They go to a charter school a short walk from the North Philly house where we all lived together. They have the take the El a few stops from their current house, in Frankford. Tahija is working toward her BA, dealing with some heath issues but overall pretty good...more serious about her religion (judging from Facebook posts anyway). She and Lamarr are still together, officially married now and -- I can't believe it -- both past thirty (just, but still). They're the hub of a big network of friends and Lamarr's twin brothers are often at the house just hanging out or practicing their R&B music with him. Every summer I ask for the boys to come to the country and visit me but it's been 3 summers now since that happened. I contemplate a long soul-bearing letter that will persuade her to let them come or to come herself, but I don't write it. Why don't I write it? Is it too hard to stay in the relationship? But how could it ever be harder than it was when we shared the same house, and I cared for the boys? But I'm older now...the broken heart mends more slowly, less fully. I'm afraid someday soon they will say Where were you? I should try harder. Maybe I should never have left Philly. I guess that's when I said--it's too hard. But I was called to "walk with her" and nothing has shown me clearly that the walk is over. People still come here, hits every day. I don't know why they come. The book's not selling much. Probably spambots wandering blindly leaving their droppings, mimicking eyes, ears, human minds. Is anyone there?